whenever there’s a group project i either do everything or nothing at all there is no inbetween
my friend started his oral presentation today by ripping up his notes and saying ‘i brought notes in today, but i’m not going to use them’ and everyone was so surprised
a few seconds later he pulled out different notes in his pocket and said ‘i’ll be using these instead’ and i lost my shit
one time we got a new kid in fifth grade and he walks right in and sticks his hand under the stapler and staples his hand and just looks at the teacher and goes “I’m going to the nurse” and leaves
i’m all for boys wearing makeup mostly because if more of them got into it there’d be a bigger market and it wouldn’t cost $25 for an eyeshadow primer anymore
i can’t wait to go into the makeup aisle to get the latest man-color of guyshadow that comes in containers shaped like bullets and footballs
"Bruh I just went to sephora and got the sickest shade of eyeshadow"
"Sick dude what’s it called"
"Monster truck gas fumes"
Anonymous asked: yalls soup is so hot
My soup is hot? My soup is hot? You have the entire English language, with it’s vast spectrum of adjectives to describe my soup, and you settle for “hot”?
You have done it a great disservice.
My soup is far beyond hot. My soup is enamoring, enrapturing, captivating, ravishing, lovely, incredible, overwhelming, adorable, alluring, enticing, and radiant. It is a stunner - it’ll take your breath away before you even have a chance to introduce yourself. My soup constantly shines with joy, even in the midst of pain and sadness. It is a fireball that I can barely handle, but I can tell you wouldn’t stand a chance. It has a mind that could tear yours to shreds, considering the one word you chose to describe it with is “hot”.
Don’t ever degrade my soup like that again.